Breaking Out of a Sexual Rut

5 Simple Ways to Make Your Sex Life More Adventurous

Let’s be real—no matter how strong your relationship is, most couples experience a sexual rut at some point. It's normal, but that doesn't mean it's something you have to settle for. In fact, it can be a great opportunity to hit reset, get creative, and bring some fun back into the bedroom. The key is approaching it together and with a mindset of exploration, not stress or pressure.

So, if you and your partner are ready to break out of routine and spice things up, here are five simple tips to make your sex life more adventurous. And don’t worry, these are easy changes that can make a world of difference.

1. Talk About It—Yes, Really

The first step to reigniting your intimacy? Communication. And yes, I know that sounds like advice straight out of a relationship textbook, but it's true. Many couples hesitate to talk about their sex life, either because it feels awkward or because they assume their partner already knows what they want. Spoiler alert: they don’t. Having an open, honest conversation about what you both want to try can lead to exciting discoveries and deeper connection.

A simple starting point could be, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about how we could add a little more excitement to our sex life. Is there anything you’ve been wanting to try?”

2. Change the Scene

Routine is the enemy of excitement. So, one of the easiest ways to break the monotony is to change your surroundings. And no, you don’t need to book a fancy hotel or take a vacation (although, if that’s an option, go for it!). Even small changes like dimming the lights, adding candles, or playing some mood-setting music can make the experience feel new and different.

If you want to take it a step further, try a new location—like the living room, shower, or even the great outdoors if you’re feeling adventurous.

3. Try Something New

It’s easy to stick to what you know works, but let’s face it, variety is the spice of life. Why not explore some new things with your partner? This could be trying out a new position, introducing toys into the mix, or even exploring role-play if that’s something you both feel comfortable with. You don’t have to jump straight into anything wild—start small and see what you both enjoy.

The key is to make it fun, not stressful. If something doesn’t work, laugh it off and try something else!

4. Build Anticipation

Remember the days when everything felt exciting because you couldn’t keep your hands off each other? That’s the power of anticipation. One way to bring that energy back is by not always diving straight into the main event. Take your time with foreplay—whether that’s teasing, talking dirty, or giving each other massages.

Building anticipation throughout the day with little hints, flirty texts, or playful touches can create excitement before you even get to the bedroom.

5. Surprise Each Other

Routine can make intimacy feel predictable, so one of the best ways to shake things up is by keeping each other on your toes. Surprising your partner with something unexpected can add a fresh sense of adventure to your sex life. This could be as simple as planning a date night where intimacy isn’t rushed or slipping into bed wearing something they wouldn’t expect.

The goal is to inject an element of surprise, which naturally brings back the spark and makes things feel spontaneous again.

Final Thoughts

Getting stuck in a sexual rut is totally normal, but it’s also something you can work through together. The key is to have fun with it—approach these changes with curiosity and a willingness to experiment. The process of trying new things and building anticipation will not only make your sex life more exciting but will likely bring you closer as a couple, too.

So, what are you waiting for? Start the conversation, and see where it takes you!

Intimacy in Non-Traditional Relationships

Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Beyond

In today’s world, relationships come in many different forms. While traditional monogamous relationships are still the norm for many, non-traditional relationships such as polyamory and open relationships are becoming increasingly recognized. These relationship structures offer unique ways of cultivating intimacy, but they also come with their own challenges. Let’s explore how intimacy can be nurtured in polyamorous, open, and other non-traditional relationships, and hear some insights from people who navigate these dynamics.

Understanding Non-Traditional Relationships

Polyamory refers to having intimate, loving relationships with more than one person at the same time, with the knowledge and consent of all involved. Open relationships, on the other hand, usually refer to a couple that has agreed to have sexual encounters outside of their partnership, while still maintaining a primary romantic bond with each other.

Non-traditional relationships challenge the conventional idea that intimacy is exclusive to one partner. They highlight the reality that love, trust, and emotional closeness can thrive across multiple connections. But as with any relationship, cultivating intimacy requires intention, communication, and mutual respect.

Communication: The Foundation of Intimacy in Non-Traditional Relationships

Whether you're in a monogamous or non-traditional relationship, communication is the foundation of emotional and physical intimacy. In polyamorous or open relationships, communication becomes even more crucial due to the complexities of managing multiple connections.

Key Communication Tips:

• Radical Honesty: Be open about your feelings, desires, and boundaries with all partners. Honesty helps prevent misunderstandings and builds trust.
• Regular Check-Ins: Make time to check in with each partner. Discuss how things are going, if any feelings of jealousy or insecurity are coming up, and what’s working or not working.
• Clear Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries that respect everyone’s needs. This could include defining what kind of intimacy is shared with each partner or what types of information are shared.

Insights from polyamorous individuals show that continuous communication helps everyone feel valued, secure, and respected within the relationship. As one person in a polyamorous relationship shared, "It’s not about managing people—it’s about managing emotions with care and empathy."

Navigating Jealousy and Insecurity

Jealousy is a natural human emotion, and it can arise even in the most secure non-traditional relationships. The key is not to suppress these feelings, but to approach them with openness and self-reflection.

Tips for Managing Jealousy:

• Understand the Root Cause: Often, jealousy is tied to insecurity. Ask yourself if your feelings are related to fear of losing your partner or concerns about your own worth. Recognizing the cause helps you address it more effectively.
• Communicate Your Feelings: Share your feelings with your partner in a non-accusatory way. A conversation like, “I’ve been feeling insecure about your relationship with [other partner], and I’d like to talk about it,” can open the door to constructive dialogue.
• Celebrate Compersion: Compersion is the opposite of jealousy—it’s the feeling of joy from seeing your partner happy in another relationship. Fostering compersion can help you feel secure in the love you share.

People in non-traditional relationships often describe their journey with jealousy as a growth process. “I used to get really jealous, but over time I’ve learned to see my partner’s happiness with others as an extension of the love we share,” one polyamorous individual noted.

Building Emotional Intimacy Across Multiple Connections

In polyamorous or open relationships, emotional intimacy may look different with each partner. Some connections might be deeply emotional, while others might be more casual or sexual. The flexibility of these relationships allows individuals to fulfill different emotional and physical needs with different people.

Ways to Build Emotional Intimacy:

• Quality Time: Make time for one-on-one moments with each partner. Whether it’s deep conversations, shared hobbies, or physical closeness, investing in quality time helps deepen your bond.
• Vulnerability: Allow yourself to be vulnerable with your partners. Sharing fears, hopes, and insecurities can strengthen emotional connections.
• Celebrate Uniqueness: Each relationship is unique. Instead of comparing one connection to another, celebrate the distinct dynamics each relationship brings.

As one person in an open relationship shared, “With one partner, I have this deep emotional connection where we can talk for hours. With another, it’s more about the physical chemistry. I love that I get to experience different types of intimacy.”

Cultivating Physical Intimacy in Non-Traditional Relationships

Physical intimacy can also vary widely in non-traditional relationships. While some connections may be primarily emotional, others might focus on sexual exploration. In open relationships, couples often set specific guidelines around physical intimacy with others, allowing each partner to explore their sexuality while maintaining the primary bond.

Building Healthy Physical Intimacy:

• Respect Boundaries: Make sure that any physical intimacy respects the boundaries you and your partner have set. This could include safe sex practices or specific agreements about what’s okay with others.
• Stay Connected: In polyamorous relationships, physical intimacy with multiple partners can sometimes cause feelings of disconnection. Make sure to keep the physical and emotional connection with your primary partner strong by regularly expressing love and affection.
• Explore Together: Some couples in non-traditional relationships enjoy exploring new aspects of physical intimacy together, such as engaging in shared sexual experiences with other people. For those open to it, this can foster both emotional and physical closeness.

Conclusion: Intimacy Is Personal and Unique

Whether in a traditional or non-traditional relationship, intimacy comes in many forms. Polyamory, open relationships, and other non-traditional relationship dynamics highlight that love and connection don’t have to fit one mold. By communicating openly, managing emotions with care, and nurturing both emotional and physical bonds, intimacy can thrive in any relationship structure.

Each relationship, regardless of its structure, is a unique journey of love, trust, and connection.